Welcome to my blog dedicated to the struggles and sometimes complete awesomeness that shows up every once in a while. I have been blogging on Facebook for a couple of years. I have a FB page called Moms House of Insanities and Profanities. I have a wonderful fan base, and hopefully they will follow.
I FINALLY decided to make a real blog. I probably shouldn’t put this pressure on myself but it’s truly my therapy. I am honest, raw, sometimes offensive and I love to cuss. I hope that by reading my blog, you will see the passion I hold and the desire to share my story. Maybe if I had one person, just one, to listen to my true feelings and understand them I wouldn’t be on so much medication. We have to stick together.
It was hard, really hard to come out and tell my closest friends and family that I was bipolar. I was immediately labeled “not right in the head”. Well no shit Sherlock! Who wants to be “right” in the head when you can be right, left, north, south trying to find your head? It sounds like so much more fun than being “right in the head”. It is fun, but it is also tragic and 1 in 4 of us all suffer from some sort of mental illness. If 1in 4 of us had cancer, the approach to that would be drastically different. That my friends is sad, tragic and shameful.
I woke up one day and said this is me and built up the bravery to just let the leopard out the bag that I am in fact certifiable crazy. I have become more inspired, motivated, refreshed, genuine and most of all….supported. Not only did my husband finally start trying to understand that this monster (that happens to be my friend) is real, but my loyal and dedicated followers on Facebook reassured me that I am in no way alone. I am in no way too weak to knock this a$$hole of disease for a loop. No doubt that it will try and test me and push me to my limits but after 20 years of being diagnosed, I know the routine. I know it all too well. It’s trying to get everyone around me to understand without the judgement. You know, the (whisper whisper “b!tch is crazy) persona.
Blogging is for me. It’s my outlet, my journal, my life that I can only express in written words. thing to realize people everywhere, all over the world experience those same deep depths or the sky is the limit kind of hour. I love a clean house but if you think about it, housework is the definition of insane. Doing something over and over that are expecting a new outcome. It ain’t happening here. We have enough in our family with me alone. My husband is still here. For what? I have no clue. I can’t run a household. He pays all of our bills and cooks and plays all day with them while I do the insane housework. I make it though laughter ( especially myself, I’m kind of funny if I do say so myself 😉 I cry when I want to, because it’s my party, in my rapid cycling bipolar disorder, or as the new term is, unspecified episodic mood disorder. That is a mouth full in itself. I am ADD like a mofo, so I’m quick to divert topics. I also suffer from anxiety, and the anxiety keeps me at home. Like every day unless I’m doing something with the kids, my a$$ is hibernating. My favorite season is summer. Everything calms my soul in the summer. Favorite color, Pink ( Shocking right! ). I love to scrapbook. Yes I just said that. A bottle of wine and scrapping kid free. I haven’t done it in years but it’s on my bucket list. But music is my everything! Anytime I need my soul to feel alive again, I turn up my jams as loud as I can and I dance. I’ve made it this far with all of my children alive. You all can too. Always stay true to you and only you. :(:
I am 34 years old with 3 beautiful, challenging children. They are my reason for living and they are also the reason my insanity has reached it’s peak. I am married to a man that puts up with me in ways no other man would. He is finally trying to understand my daily struggles and does his best to keep calm and let me go nuts.
I’ve been through a lot in my life and blogging is my outlet, my therapy and sometimes my saving grace. The burning passion I hold is explosive. I’m hoping to spread that fiery passion as far as it will go. What is life without passion?? I look forward to my fellow bloggers posts every day and of course your comments and feeback. Here’s to happy, excruciating and truthful blogging! I hate being bipolar, it’s AWESOME! 😊