Blogging Without A Clue…and Loving It

I must have changed the theme on my blog at least 15 times and I’m still not happy with it. It’s all about the perfection for me when I have decided to take a whole new passion. My passion is to help the misunderstood mental health community that continues to grow. It takes one to know one and it takes one to understand one. So screw it! It’s not what my blog looks like, it’s about my outlet, my therapy and my passion. Now, back to searching themes..LOL!

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The Beginning of My Nightmare

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I will tell you a little about myself. I have been blogging my experiences with living with bipolar disorder on Facebook for about one year and a half. I have finally decided that blogging should be on a blogging spot. I truly hope all of my followers on Moms House of Insanities and Profanities will have it in their hearts to read my blogs on a completely different website.

I am 34 years old, married with three beautiful, rambunctious, loving and troublemaking children. I am a stay at home mom and feel fortunate most of the time to be able to stay home. My children are 9,7 and 3.

I am a busy mom with no organization and chaos is my middle name. Just ask the kids. If my head wasn’t attached, I would have lost it long ago. I am extremely passionate about sharing my story because so many people think they are alone in their battle with any mental illness. The stigma associated with it only holds us back from receiving the care we really need, people are afraid of us, although 1 in 4 of us battles a mental illness.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 15 after a 2 week visit to the mental hospital. The doctors claimed it was “drug induced bipolar”. Boy were they wrong. I will blog about this in detail at the right time.  Diagnosing this disease, yes disease, can be extremely difficult, and finding the right combination of medicine seems almost impossible. I had to trust my doctors and yes they let me down, but my life has changed in so many ways since finding the right combination. It only took 18 years, but I’m here. That seems like forever, but there is hope. I still have my manic and depressive episodes but they are no where as severe. My family may not agree but they didn’t see me at the age of 22, where I would spend 2 more weeks in the ward.

My children saved my life because I was constantly self medicating with lots of alcohol, and I mean lots. For a bipolar patient, alcohol can depress you even more and obviously become suicidal. They are my life, and I try for them everyday. Some days they don’t understand but they always make me feel loved, even though I’m different.

I have finally accepted that I have a lifetime disease and will be on medication for the rest of my life. My passion to spread the word and help others through their struggles has never been so flaming hot. This blog is my life, my truths and my story. My stories are raw and can be triggering to some. I cuss like a sailor and it’s something I will not change. It’s who I am and  it gets me through the day, along with my smokes and my medications.

Welcome to my journal, I will post current and past situations. I’m hoping to spread the word, to  make people aware that this is real, it’s an epidemic on the rise and we as a country and people need to address it.

We are not alone in our battles. Life is a beautiful struggle. Mine just happens to be a beautiful disaster.